THE GIFT

WE ARE SOLD OUT OF PINK POWDERPUFF PONIES, the sign read.

Shit.  This was the fourth store he’d tried today.  Christmas Eve.  Yesterday, he’d tried both the mega-stores on the west side of town, to no avail.  He headed back to the car.

Powderpuff Ponies were the biggest hit of the season.  This year’s Tickle Me Elmo.  Tasha had her heart set on one.  It was all she talked about.  After the divorce a few months ago, money was too tight to think about early Christmas shopping.  Now that his yearly bonus was in his pocket, Powderpuff Ponies were nowhere to be found.

It was only a plastic pony in its own stable, with brushes and colorful saddles and its own Nickelodeon cartoon.  But damn it, Tasha was crazy about Powderpuff Ponies.  They didn’t have a lot to talk about now that he only got to see her on alternate weekends, but they had Powderpuff Ponies.  He watched the cartoon every afternoon so they could talk about it whenever he called on the phone or picked her up.  It was the ice-breaker, and since the divorce, the first half hour or so in each other’s company was always awkward.

He sped down the highway to a neighboring town.  There was so much he wanted to say.  To explain.  But how do you tell a six-year-old girl you’re gay?  How do you explain that it’s not that you and Mommy don’t love each other, it’s that you were never meant for each other in the first place?  He’d given a very simplistic explanation, but Tasha didn’t understand.

Powderpuff Ponies were a start, though.  Bless those stupid overpriced toys, they were a common ground.  More than anything, he wanted her to be able to unwrap one of her own on Christmas.  It couldn’t make up for a broken home, but it was something they could share.  They could sit on the floor playing with the ponies all day if that made her happy.  If it made it easier to talk.

He pulled into the parking lot.  He needed two.  One for each of them.  One would be acceptable, but two was what they needed as father and daughter.  Interaction.  He entered the store.  Halfway down the main aisle was a display.  Empty.  Suddenly exhausted, he backed up and leaned against a shelf.

And then he was no longer exhausted.  There, at the very back of the bottom of the display, were two Pink Powderpuff Ponies.

A woman saw them at the same time and grabbed for one.  He snatched it back.  "Don't be greedy! I've got a kid, too!" 

"They're Tasha's!"  Like she'd understand. 

The woman swung her pocketbook in his face and tried to wrestle the toy away.  He stepped on her foot, pulled the toys free and sprinted to the checkout counter. 

The next morning, Tasha looked curiously at his black eye and opened her present.

Her face fell.  “I wanted the blue one.”

Copyright 2004 Amy Frushour Kelly